Perry's trouble
by emo barbie
Summary: Perry seems content with the way things are going his way. Jordan's left for her mother's taking the child that would be his,with her. But then when the new interns arrive, things begin to change. Oocs, actual scrusb pairings, Keith/Elliot, ext, Cox/JD
1. Chapter 1

The new intern Brittney is actually indeed based off me. Everything used it related to me: Ex: Emo Barbie. This is indeed my true nickname, well at least one of them. the personality though is based off the way I react to my siblings and smart asses, that I know. To anyone else well you'll see that personality show to. But later in the story.

The new nurse Andy, XD, is actually related to a friend of mine, and yes the character is based off of him too. and yes, he likes to call me a bitch, too, though my usual reaction to him, is a cheerful happy go lucky(my favorite cheerful emotion XD) way.

There will be other Ooc's though sorry. But there will not be any Oocxcharacter Parings so don't worry. Other then maybe, Andy paired off with Kelso's son, but that's later on. Oh and no the actual Andy isn't gay...though we all think he is...and he indeed is girly about his hair...XD

* * *

Perry stormed in, he was angry…no he was enraged…no Malevolent…It didn't matter there was no name for this rage inside of him

Perry stormed in, he was angry…no he was enraged…no Malevolent, it didn't matter there was no name for this rage inside of him and he knew he would have to get it out soon or else…well he _would _explode.

And as if to answer his prayers, even if he _didn't_ have any, who else was there.

"_Barbie!!" _He stormed towards the blonde who was talking to a certain blonde headed male nurse. "Who gave you permission to-"

"What did you just call me?" The blonde spun around.

Perry stared wide-eyed. The girl was Barbie…_right_…but she….wasn't? She had the blonde hair, and Barbie's feature's…but Barbie didn't wear dark black eye-liner and black framed glasses. Or a black chocker with a large black studded cross…Or _Black scrubs?_ "_Emo _Barbie?"

"Oh, I know you didn't just call me one of those wrist slicing freaks (no offence to anyone) Dr…" She looked at his name tag, and suddenly she cupped her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh, giving Perry a glimpse of her black fingernail polish and skull wristwatch.

"So _your _Dr "Tall, Dark and Handsome" Miss Princess was talking about!" She burst into laugher.

"Oh you mean Dr Rant?" Perry glared up at the blonde nurse, to see that it wasn't the usual blonde murse that he usually made fun off, either. Infact this guy was more…_dark_ as well. He had long dirty blonde hair that hung in his face and just a dark look about him, though he was wearing purple scrubs, he still found it…darker then usual.

"Dr Reid!" The blonde infront jumped and let out a whelp, but as she noticed Kelso she simply rolled her eyes.

"I know it's your first day as an intern, but must I remind you of the "no chains" rule? That I know we specifically went over for your sake yesterday." Kelso asked tugging on the chain that was attached something that was under her scrubs.

"Oh please, what are we? In High school?" She sneered.

"Well we have a specific policy on-"

"Don't care." She held up a hand in his face.

Kelso growled and wagged a finger. "Dr Reid…may I…have a moment?"

The girl cocked an eyebrow. "_Please_." He growled through clenched teeth.

The blonde rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed groan as she followed Kelso around a corner.

Perry quietly took a few steps back as he stared down at his chart, trying to make out what they were saying. Even though it wasn't that hard since Kelso was roaring on one of his rants. Wait, wasn't that _his_(Perry's) job?

"Now, Dr Reid, I'm sure your sister gave you the whole: _Dr Kelso is such a devil man I don't know how he can sleep at night, _speech. But fortunately I-"

"Oh no, I'm afraid it doesn't _really_ take a genius to figure out your true_ form._ Kelsey." She replied smiling.

_Kelsey? I'm liking this girl already. _

Perry grinned to himself.

Kelso huffed trying to hold down his high blood-pressure that seemed to be rising.

"Okay, well as I _was _saying, the other Newbie's here actually happen to think highly of me, and oh, I'm sure you know, that I just love to knock those little happy children off their pedestals and onto their asses, like the gutless jackasses they are."

"Oh, _too_ true sir." Her grin widened.

"Oh, then I think we understand each other then. You won't go, having me flare up again and ruin my so up and coming thrashing event?" Kelso grinned.

"_Yeah_…" She rolled out the word as she slowly nodded her head. "…No."

Kelso's grin fell. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, why should I? I mean what's in it for me?"

_Oh I like the way this girl thinks. _

Perry nodded to himself.

Kelso growled and thought for a moment. "…lunch on me for three weeks."

"Four." She crossed her arms.

"Three-ana-half."

"Five."

"Four." Kelso growled.

The girl grinned. "K." And then she turned and disappeared.

Kelso growled and stormed off, stopping as he noticed Perry. "And what are _you_ looking at?" He growled.

"Oh nothing, Bobb-o. Just you getting your ass kicked by a _lil' girl._" He chuckled to himself.

Suddenly a sharp pain in the back of his head mad his stumble forward. He blinked.

"Who are you calling a Lil' girl?" The blonde growled, as she crossed her arms and sneered at the glare he sent her way.

Kelso's sharp and mocking Laughter broke the tension, and they both looked at him.

"_Oh shut it old timer." _The two of them growled together. They then looked back at each other.

_I think I'm starting to get a weird feeling about this one. _

"Hey Dr Cox!" A cheery voice cut through the break room.

"And_ there_ it is." Perry growled.

"Excuse me?" Elliot asked.

"Well Barbie, I was just thinking about a certain _Gothic_ intern and I was thinking about how much she was _re-e-eall-lly_ annoying me and_ then_ I was wondering if there was _anything _else that could _possibly_ add to this _uneventful _day and then…_there it is_. That annoying little _sqeeee-ing_ noise, that sounds like fingers on a chalkboard, that is _your _voice."

"Did you say Gothic intern?" She asked.

"_Oh. My. God, Barbie._ Did you _not_ just hear a word I said?!" He growled.

"Well, no, but about the intern-"

"You mean Emo Barbie and her Gothic friend?"

"So you _did_ meet her!" Elliot squealed.

"When you mean _her…"_ Perry paused as someone coughed. "And speak of the devil."

Emo Barbie glared at him. "Elliot, Miss Princess is paging you, oh and T-hog is looking for his…what was it…his balls? Have you seen them?" She grinned a strange devil grin, that Perry had seen earlier, when she was _also _being a smart-ass.

"His name's J.D. And Turk is-"

"Don't care." The girl held up a hand.

"_So_, when did we get evil twins and, _why_ didn't I get one?" Perry interrupted their "girl fight".

Elliot turned to say something, but the girl was already throwing something back at him.

"Well for starters, because there couldn't possibly be an_ evil_ twin for you, cause you see, your already an _evi_l bastard. _So_ I presume, floating around here would be a _heavenly _twin of you…but sadly I just_ haven't_ seen one. And secondly, I'm her sister, _not_ her twin." The girl sneered.

"Little sister." Elliot corrected her.

"_Like I care._" Perry blinked, the words that had just about came out of his own mouth, shot out of the girl's.

"_So_ tell me, _who_ is this lovely _devil _girl and,_ why_ is she here?" Perry growled out with a grin grounding his teeth together.

"Oh, thisis Brittney." Elliot sneered. "But we just call her, Satan"

Brittney rolled her eyes. "_Oh look_, Blondie made a funny."

Elliot growled, annoyed at the fact that she couldn't win.

Leaving a grinning devil women alone with Perry.

"So tell me again, Percival-"

"Op, what did I say about that?"

"Per?"

"No."

"Perry?"

"Nope."

"Cox?"

"Fine." He finally muttered.

"So tell me, what's going on between you and Miss Princess?"

"Miss Princess?"

"Oh, sorry, Cindy."

"Still nothing."

"For. God's. Sake. Perry, how stupid can you possibly be?! I'm talking about J.D. you moron." She snapped.

"Ah, ah, ah,_ ah_. K, Jesus, that's all ya needed to say." Perry paused. "Now what were we talking about?"

"You and J.D."

"Ah, Yes, Tracy, well let's see she annoys me."

"You mean like-"

_(breaks into song "It's her hair, her nose, her chinless face, she always needs a hug, not to mention all those manly appletinnies that she chugs, the fact that she still thinks that I'm her mentor just continues to complex and she so needs to stop telling me when she has nerdy sex!" _

"_Why are we singing?" J.D. suddenly appears in the room and both Brittney and Perry look at him. Perry jumps up._

"_See, Newbie that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree, cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be. So, I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, you wish to be my son, It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one. No, I'm not the only one."_

"_OKAY!! I'm sick of stupid singing!" Brittney growled angrily. "I give up!" She charged out of the room_)

Elliot: Brittney? She's crashing! Oh My God! She's crashing! She's crashing! She's crashing, crashing, crashing, crashing, crashing!

Perry: For The Love of God! Will someone get her outta here before I blow a gasket!

Turk: Elliot. Elliot.

Elliot: OMG! She's Crashing! Crashing! Crashing!

Turk: ELLIOT!

Perry: Clear!

Jolt of bright light

Turk: Elliot, come on.

Elliot: CRASHING!

Perry: CLEAR!

Another jolt of light.

Elliot: CRASHING!

Perry: GET HER THE HELL OUTTA HER!

Turk: come on Elliot.

Perry: CLEAR!

Sudden emptiness.

The emptiness was worse then darkness. It was dark and cold she couldn't see anything. But the difference was that this time, she couldn't hear anything either, she was just _there_… nothing to hold onto, nothing to see, nothing not even her own body. It was just…emptiness.

Elliot sat by her bedside.

"You know, we always used to fight when we were little. Of course, she would always win, but…still." Elliot sighed. "What if she doesn't make it? What if she really does die? What if-"

"Holy Crap, will you shut it women!"

Elliot looked up at the blonde. He glared at her from across the bed. "I'm not Paul! I don't wanta and _will not_ listen to your whining bullshit!" The blonde growled at her.

"Then why are you even here?!" She shot up and pointed a finger at him.

He sighed and stood up, smoothing down his already perfect hair. "Because, as I'm sure you know, I've been hanging around this Bitch and listening to her grip ever since 7th grade. And help me, if I happen to want to see her, when she's actually not being a bitch." He sat back down, and began smoothing down his hair even though it still hadn't moved from it's perfect position.

"Do you use product?" Elliot asked him.

He glared up at her. "No." He mumbled.

"Well, I mean, your hair it's just so…perfect I-"

"Don't care." They both looked down at a scornful faced blonde who glared up at both of them. "Do you know how hard it is to sleep with you two arguing over me?!" She growled.

"Brittney!" Elliot hugged her sister.

"Can't…breathe…let…go…" Brittney chocked out, her left eye twitching rapidly with each word.

Elliot did but didn't loose contact. "Oh, I thought I'd lost you for good, and then you crashed and then, I mean really, you scared me, you really did and then Dr Cox, well you know him, he said that-"

"God women, do you ever shut up?" The blonde boy growled angrily.

Elliot released Brittney and looked at the boy. "Well excuse me for being worried about my Sister."

"It was only a fever."

"She crashed!"

"And then Dr "Rant" stabilized her again." The boy shot back.

"Well she-"

"Shut up!!" Brittney screamed. "God! You two are worse then my empty void of sleep!"

They both stared at her as if she were an alien.

"What?!"

"Do you know how long you've been out?" The boy asked.

"Well, gee Andy. I'd be guessing about, what? Three hours?"

"How about three weeks." The suddenly presence of someone in the door caught there attention and they all looked up to see Dr Cox making his way in. "Oh, look, did I miss the wake-up party of sleeping Beauty?" Dr Cox smirked.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Brittney smirked.

"Which part? The wake-up party or the sleeping beauty? Cause I can tell ya, you were definitely sleepin, but you weren't no beauty." Andy smirked.

"Shut up." Brittney growled.

"Make me, Bitch." He sneered and walked out of the room.

"Oh, I love Newbie Theater." Dr Cox grinned.

Brittney glared at him.

"_What_." He asked innocently.

Brittney shook her head and pulled the IV out of her arm. "Now if you don't mind, I gotta go, kick someone's ass." She smiled.

"Brittney! I don't-"

A sharp clap cut her off. (I can't whistle so, yeah.) "I'm fine." And with that she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a lot of things in a hospital that can get you going, as an intern

"I can't believe you kicked Andy's ass." Elliot laughed hysterically.

Brittney and Dr Cox looked at each other before both of them looked at Carla.

Carla shrugged her shoulders, as Elliot continued to cackle.

Brittney opened her mouth to say something, Perry quickly cut her off, finding a great opportunity to show her up.

"Well, Gee there Barbie. I'm happy your _so_ high up on pain killers that you can't stop that annoying lil' shrieking noise that you seem to have been making, but if you can't see all these people looking at you, I mean, I know you think that there staring at you because, oh, your so gorgeous and beautiful, I mean who wouldn't. But I'm sorry, that I gotta bring you back to the _real world_, their staring at you, because that noise your making, is piercing their skulls so much, their bleeding outta there ears there."

Elliot stopped abruptly and lowered her gaze.

Perry grinned and Brittney brushed her nose with her thumb before growling and storming off.

Perry looked at Carla. "Oh, I know she just didn't…"

Perry made the same gesture, brushing his nose with his thumb before growling and turning around storming off down the hall.

-- --

_There's a lot of things in a hospital that can get you going, as an intern. _

_Like the fact the Kelso is always watching you from behind your back, seeing which intern he could fire first. _

One of the interns stood shaking as they injected an IV, Kelso stood hovering over her shoulder.

The girl squealed as she accidentally slipped and stabbed the IV into the unconscious patients side.

_Then there's Dr Cox, even if you aren't his intern, which actually none of us are, still, he waits till you mess up to rub it in your face._

Perry smirked, hands on his head as he walked over towards the two.

"Ah, now, now, twiggy, I would try and getta hold of that shaking problem you have their before you end up stabbing a patients eyes out with one of those things, and I mean…"

Brittney shakes her head blocking out the rest of the old man's rant as she strolls on towards Elliot. 

_Then comes Elliot, who is no where close to being able to actually use the name "Mentor" Anywhere._

"Hey, Bimbo, do you know anything about medicine, or are you _actually_ here because they hired you to attract the _druggies_, and Potheads to sell the medication to?" Brittney sneered.

Elliot pushed herself off of the counter she was leaning on. "Hey! I take that as an insult! I mean as your mentor-"

Brittney turned and walked off, but unfortunately was followed by her sister.

"I think I deserve some respect! And-"

Brittney spun around. "I _don't _care. I could really_ give_ a rat's ass, and I can't believe I _actually_ having to say this, but, when someone _walks away_ from you, usually that means that your being the annoying lil' bitch that they can't stand _again._"

And with that she turned back around and continued on.

_But mostly it has to do with the other interns, that of course you've dealt with since Med school. But now that your in an actual hospital their "lil" jokes, are more…well…annoying. _

"Explode like weeks of room that her new nape gasket was dark perfect hours."

Brittney turned to look at an intern who bounced into the ICU.

"And_ what_ does that mean?" She asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I….don't know. But it sounded cool in my head." The girl nodded. Or was it a guy? She shook her head. Didn't matter.

"The name's Dr Joel."

Brittney nodded her head. "Aw."

_Freak-E_

"Hey, Britt-AH!" Andy raced towards Brittney with a chart but tripped and slid straight into a supply stand sending utensils flying across the room.

Brittney shook her head rolling her eyes as she brushed her thumb across her nose and crossed her arms.

Andy jumped up with a grin. "I'm fine!"

Brittney opened her mouth to make one of her smart ass comments but the giggly black haired _thing_ cut her off.

"Now just a wagged girl moment someone that you hear crashing blonde boy empty grinned." Dr Joel said grinned.

Andy cocked his head. "Excuse me?"

"Banana Pants!" She…No he…It nodded.

"And um…who are you, again?" Andy asked.

"Edward, Edward Joel."

_So it's a guy. _

"Right…anyway, here's the chart Brittney." He handed her the chart and grinned.

_At least he's not calling me-_

"Bye, bitch."

_And…he was gone. _

-- --

Perry stormed down the hall, past a patients room, quickly stopping and stepping back to look through the window.

"There_ you_ are." Perry growled as he made his way into the room. "I wanta talk to you." He growled.

Brittney looked up from her chart. "Whatta mean?" She asked, a blank look on her face, like a confused puppy.

At first he had expected some kind of snotty come back, but at her reaction he had to pause a moment before going on.

"I…mean…are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"Yeah. Why?" She asked grinning happily.

"Well…I mean…it's just…never mind." He shook his head and left the room.

The patient looked at her.

She simply shrugged her shoulders smiling "He's strange like that." and went back to writing something on the chart.

-- --

Brittney bounced out of the room. "Boo-yah!" Brittney threw her arms up into the air. Getting a few looks from some of the doctors, the interns simply ignored her.

Brittney smiled as she raced down the hall, slidding as she came close to the nurses station. She threw her arms out as if she were surfing and crashed straight into Perry.

"What the hell-" He was sent sprawling to the ground, the paper's in his hand flying up.

He let out a low growl as Brittney, who was ling atop of him, looked up, brushing her stray hair out of her face.

"Sorry." She grinned and giggled.

"Get off of me!" Perry growled and she did so, jumping up and happily bouncing around.

"What is your problem?" Andy asked her.

Carla simply watched her with a smile.

She smiled and began dancing shaking her but as she made her hands into fists and moved them in circles, as she bobbed her head at the same time. (Sorry, I'm not good at describing dance move's their just to hard) "He _said hi to me_, he said _hi to me,_ he said _hi to me_, he said _hi to me"_

Andy rolled his eyes. "Oh please, after all this time, your happy he said _hi_ to you?"

"Who is this _he_, that _we_ talk of?" Perry asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"A stupid intern she's been dying to talk too." Andy grumbled.

"Oh, how _sweet, _finally taking up those big girl panties you've always wanted to wear?"

They all turned to see a women with short brown hair and a sneer that crossed her face. She looked at Brittney before looking at Andy. "Oh look, another murse." She smiled.

A cough caught her attention. "Perry." She nodded her head.

"Jordan." He mumbled in return.

"You know her?" Perry looked down to see Brittney raising her eyebrows and licking her lips as she smiled, a smile that Perry hadn't seen yet.

"Yeah…she's um…my ex-wife." He muttered crossing his arms.

"Listen Per, I only came by to talk about that thing. You know, where you get Jake for so long, and blah, blah, blah." Jordan caught his attention again.

"Oh…right…and so…"

"It's not going to happen." Jordan replied grinning.

Perry's face fell. "Excuse me?"

"Well, I mean, why would I want to leave _my_ son with his drunken father?"

"He's as much of my son as he is yours!" Perry roared at her.

Brittney placed her fingers in her ears and began singing to herself trying to block out the argument.

"Hello! It was my pain that gave him life? Ah-duh!"

"And it was my sperm that gave you him! Ah-Duh!" Perry replied mockingly.

"Lalalalalalalalalalala."

Perry and Jordan both stopped to look at Brittney who had her eyes closed tightly and her fingers jammed into her ears, singing extremely loudly.

"Do you mind?!" Jordan roared. "Hey!" Brittney continued to sing. "HEY!"

SMACK!

Everyone fell silent as Andy grinned. Brittney stared wide-eyed at Andy who simply waved.

"I know you just didn't." She growled angrily.

"Oh, I did." He smirked.

"Why you-"

Perry rolled his eyes as he grabbed onto the back of Brittney's scrubs as she tried to pull free and punch the grinning boy. "YOU! YOU! YOU!" She kept screaming.

"Does she ever shut up?!" Jordan screamed over her.

"No!" Perry screamed as well, shaking his head.

"Well can you shut her up?!"

With one swift move Perry had Brittney in his arms and she immediately shut up, and just as quickly she was whirled around and sent sprawling into the wall.

"UPH!" Brittney hit the wall with a thud and fell onto her back.

"That's better." Perry grinned.

"You know what, never…never mind. I don't even feel like arguing with you anymore." Jordan sighed.

Perry opened his mouth to protest but Jordan had already moved swiftly past him and stepped over Brittney. "See ya, loud mouth." Jordan replied over her shoulder towards Brittney as she pushed herself up.

They all stood there a moment in silence, watching her go.

"Man, she's hot." They all looked over towards Brittney. "What? It's true."

Perry glared at her.

"What? So she's your ex-wife. Doesn't mean, she's not interested in girls." She shrugged.

"You disgust me." Perry growled before storming off.

Brittney grinned in triumph as she turned and looked at the other two, who still stood staring at her as if she were an alien.


End file.
